love the paul strand quote. i, too, love to stare and study human behavior, but i don’t just stare at one part! and i know that you’re discreet. given you’re a photographer you’re an experienced and skilled “looker.”

and thx for your comment about my butt given you’ve actually seen it (clothed).

s

Thanks for talking about a subject that has affected most women at one time or another – and probably some men too! And I’m sure has left many feeling off balance.

What I’d like to add to this discussion is a thought beyond whether the woman being gawked at is more sexy or showing too much skin. Or if the one being ignored is less gorgeous. Or if it’s a natural response for men to do this. I’d like to simply mention … manners!

It’s very rude and also disrespectful to be in the middle of a conversation with someone, male or female, and to suddenly start ignoring them because a very sexy person walks by. Even worse to gawk. A man who has a well developed sense of self, sexuality and his own masculinity just doesn’t do this – he is too confident (and probably satisfied!) to be distracted to the point of being rude. Same with women who are well developed. They know that it’s very attractive to focus completely on the person you’re interacting with!

I’m with Photograsaurus Rex on this – I like to look at pretty people too. But don’t gawk. Be discreet esp in the middle of a conversation. And I have to admit, my male business associates do act differently in such circumstances, depending on what part of the world they are from.

I’ve had something similar happen to me in the past Susan, and if it happened now (say at an event) I would simply say ‘Goodbye ‘Bob’, I’m off now.’ And find someone who has the good taste to be completely interested in a conversation with me

Thanks for sharing this story

Chrissy

I loved this entry because I identified with your thoughts and feelings completely. After reading this I was reminded of a commercial that was on television many years back. I believe that it was a commercial for panty-hose. The commercial focused on two ordinary looking women and their reaction toward a very beautiful and sexy woman walking by. If I remember correctly she was walking by in slow motion which, by the way, was great for added effect. Then one woman leaned over to the other and whispered, “She probably has fat ankles!” (The commercial was trying to say that this particular brand of panty hose would not be loose and baggy around the ankles, hence, the “baggy ankles” comment.) But seriously though, how many times have any of us been in a similar situation such as you have described? I know that I have, and might I add, more than once. Well, after seeing that commercial, all those years ago, I enjoyed the woman’s comment to the other so much that I adopted her response as my rebuttal for anytime that I am around a man who drops his jaw to the floor whenever such a woman walks by.

“She probably has fat ankles!” I say with a smile on my face. It seems that my comment snaps him back to reality, he smiles too, and his attention is then shifted back to me. Right where it belongs! I mean, after all, what am I? Chopped liver?

Nevertheless, Susan, you deserve praise for delving headlong into hot button issue, and NO I do not think your but is too big. If one looks at old paintings we see what used to be the ideal of beauty. The (female) derriere is one of gods gifts to man (and perhaps women too); IF as long as one is healthy and feeling fit and well on their own terms, then who are we to judge? Really!
TEU
(Photograsaurus Rex)

What I’ve done in the past, under these circumstances is respond with, “Wow. She really is amazing. Isn’t she [pause] With those breasts and nice skin, well, what can I say.”

This brings the man’s attention back to me, because I’m acknowledging, appreciating and accepting his interest.

Then, he’s focused upon me.