by Edie Weinstein-Moser
What do you see when you gaze into a full length mirror? At nearly 51, I see a body that has curves and waves where 30 years ago, there were more planes. I wear a size 12 where once upon a time, a size 5 prom dress slid easily over my frame. In my teens and into early 20′s, I was a swimmer and then became a lifeguard and swim team coach.
As much as I would love to regain the flat abs of my youth, I wouldn’t trade this “Goddess body” with all of the love, experience and memory it has absorbed in the interceding 3 decades. I practice yoga, dance, walk and bicycle. I am more flexible and comfortable in my own skin now than ever I was back then. I encourage other women to love the skin they are in, as well.
A few years ago, I was sitting in the office of a dear friend who happens to be one of the most talented and creative therapists I know. I had made an appointment for a ‘tune up’; to discuss areas in my life I wanted to change. Now, I hadn’t specifically spoken with him about body image, but the metaphor applies well. He leaned in asked me if I could love and accept myself AS IS with regard to the issues at hand, even as I stretched my comfort zones and made the necessary adaptations. I told him that I could.
When I went home that night, I typed those two words and printed them out in bold letters on a rainbow splashed piece of paper. I took the paper into work and taped it to my wall in my office where I see therapy clients. Each time they asked what it meant, I shared the story with them.
Fast forward and a year or so later, I left that job and moved to another practice. I placed the paper in a box with my other office accoutrement and toted it to the new space. When taking it out of the box, I noticed that it was crumpled and would not respond to my ministrations to smooth it out. “Oh well.”, I thought “I’ll print another one out and bring it in tomorrow.” And then I re-considered. “Uh, uh AS IS.”, so that sign went up on the wall crinkled and made an even more poignant teaching tool.
One of the things that has made a difference in my life is facilitating a communication and boundary setting workshop called Cuddle Party. It also incorporates safe, nurturing, non-sexual touch. What levels the playing field is that folks attend dressed in pj’s, sweats or yoga clothes.
People who gather to spoon, snuggle, cuddle and massage are all ages, shapes and sizes and without discrimination, get to experience what I imagine all humans desire…acceptance for who they are, not what they look like. I watch in wonder as petite people snuggle with more robust people. What a model for what society could be like! One unexpected benefit is that attendees have been known to lose weight since they are substituting healthy touch for comfort food. Good to know that cuddling is fat free, calorie free, cholesterol free and sweet as can be. Website for more information.
Edie Weinstein-Moser is a free-lance journalist, dynamic and colorful speaker, interfaith minister, social worker and self proclaimed Bliss Mistress who is writing a book entitled The Bliss Mistress Guide To Transforming the Ordinary Into The Extraordinary.
Thank you, Edie for reminding me to treasure and love my 50 y.o. curves and sacred Buddha belly, regardless of what I think I should look like and to love and accept myself “as is”. It’s not the size, it’s the attitude.