I did the same as you as a teen and realised about 15 years later that I was simply hungry and not getting enough nourishment. We forget that eenagers need a lot of food and that girls start getting curves because of puberty, not weight! With two work-a-holic parents, I was responsible for my own meals from about the age of 12 and just didn’t know how to feed myself. Sweets seemed the obvious solution and ring-dings became a staple of my diet as they fed more than the tummy! And yes, there was shame around this as I knew there were better choices but held myself to the impossible standard of knowing better, without having the knowledge of what to do or how to cook.

I like what you said about the adults around us as well and how they affect our views. I opened up my own business when I was 21 years old and I still remember (though would like to someday forget) my uncle sitting across from me, counting the number of little pastries I had, making sarcastic comments when I reached the third one. I remember how proud of myself I was for continuing to make my OWN food choices regardless of the comments. I remember that i was wearing an elegant skirt that ended above the knee and (looking back) looked stunning… yet still feeling chubby regardless of his comments.

I remember having a lightbulb moment when my uncle was saying the things he said and realised that it had nothing to do with me but was about his own hangups (though it still bothered me in spite of my pretending it didn’t). He was generally a gentle and quiet man so this was quite unusual especially when he still mentioned how many pastries I ate on that day, 3 years later … and then recounted it to his son who took over the reminders! (I haven’t seen him for years and I wouldn’t allow him to speak that way now if i did see him).

I remember when I was having rich life experiences and had so many wonderful things to think about … and all they had to think about was what I ate years ago and congratulate themselves on being extremely skinny, to an unhealthy extent, leading dry, empty lives. While I had luscious curves and exercised and enjoyed my food and travelled and fell in love …

I’m sharing in hopes that I can offer a different perspective to anyone who has been hurt by anyone else’s comments about their eating. Sometimes remarks are truly about loving concern and are helpful.

Usually however, they are more about the person making the remark and even said to make themselves feel better.

Thanks again Susan!

Regards

Chrissy