Earlier this year I attended a four day course at the Strozzi Institute, Center for Leadership and Mastery titled Leadership in Action 1 in Petaluma California at the beautiful Strozzi Ranch. The great expanse of green hills and sky reflected what I’d hoped to gain — less cluttered and more expansive thinking and being. And I did. But not right away.
When I returned home I was not only tired but irritable… and sad. A lot of old stuff surfaced that was bothersome and hard to face. It brought to the forefront the many ways I turn away from what I believe is important to me. Everything from peace to people.
Our bodies don’t lie. In fact, they are truth tellers always letting us know the story of our lives in the present. In the moments we put ourselves into stressful situations we all revert our conditioned tendencies. Many of these tendencies are patterns we’ve developed over the years through repetitive thought and action. Others are habits we’ve internalized, experiences that have shaped us over time. Some of what we unconsciously carry we’ve inherited or learned from our parents or lineage. It all runs very deep and you can’t elude it.
I took the course work for both myself and my business. As a media coach I need to observe how my clients respond under pressure — before they make an appearance on TV. Under pressure they reveal themselves — positively and negatively.
Then we need to deal with those responses and reactions which physically include sudden twitches, grimacing, shoulder hunching, to more subtle changes like jaw tension, excessive blinking, and frowning. We work toward resting in a place of relaxation and focused attention so that they can respond from a centered and grounded place without negatively reacting to the interviewer or style of interviewing. Simultaneously, we work toward getting their message out under any circumstance while being perceived as credible, likable, respectable and trustworthy.
The Strozzi work addresses all of this and more and is based in Aikido and somatics (looking at the whole person: a unity of language, action, energy, and meaning), so it gets into how we respond unconsciously beyond just “thinking”.
What I keep coming back to is how daily practices shift our thinking and behavior in profound ways. Through repetition and dedication anything is possible and change happens.
I’ve committed to doing a number of things to move toward what I care about most.
1. Letting go of non-essential details that don’t move me toward what I want.
This means extraneous email, flipping through catalogs, superfluous work.
2. 30 minutes of meditation a day.
This is a tough one for me with such a busy mind and active body. I haven’t yet set a standard time, but I just make sure I get it in sometime during the day.
3. 15 minutes of jo practice.
(Aikido weapon that looks like a stick — see photo). These movements help embody a connection to self and are essential for Aikido practice.
4. 30 minutes a week in the garden doing nothing.
What is nothing? I have no idea. Will let you know how this goes later….
5. Not reacting to my mother 1 out of 20 times.
A lifetime of practice? During the course when I said my goal for this was three years, Mark Mooney, the instructor looked at me dumb struck. “No, Susan,” he said. “How about three months.” I think three years is probably what it will take, but nonetheless I’ve agreed to three months. God knows how many hours it will take to allow this to happen.
All of these practices will build a stronger core body. Over time new patterns of responses get built into muscle memory so our reactions will eventually be automatic and a new way of being will emerge. It takes 3000 repetitions to change a pattern and 10,000 repetitions to embody it.
To stay on track every day I remind myself of Gandhi’s words, “My life is my message,” to move toward a self that is fully integrated; thoughts, words, actions. Eventually, the shape of my body will actually change, not superficially, but structurally, internally, and that new shape will in turn inform who I am continually becoming.
