Comments on: Women Don’t Ask and They Should

By: Anne Fleming

Anne Fleming — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 14:00:32 +0000

Yes, like getting a well-deserved raise, getting VC money for your company, having the kids make dinner for you, or asking him to marry you!

Why wait for the offer to be made – it may never come. Step into it and begin the dance of asking.

And, as it relates to your car buying experience, if the process is not going the way you intend, or, you feel the salesperson isn’t ‘getting’ your request or taking you seriously, simply get up and leave. This will result in a turn-about; the salesperson will be asking you what they can do to rectify the situation.

By: Kim Dean

Kim Dean — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 12:36:16 +0000

Being a “car salesman” for 25 years, I see everyday what Anne is talking about. Empowering women to do what they need to do to be comfortable to negotiate is key. I love the job I have because I help women on a daily basis achieve this. Giving them all the facts and upfront information helps them be confident they are making the right choices. Ask the questions, get all your answers answered! I hope to team up with Anne more in the future.

By: Susan Harrow

Susan Harrow — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 21:17:40 +0000

So true. Practice is key. And you can never predict what will happen if you just ask.

By: Anne Fleming

Anne Fleming — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 20:46:28 +0000

To Bill’s point, there can be a part of all that is more interested in negotiating for someone else than for ourselves. It’s safer, whether we are a man or a women, and we can feel more emowered speaking up for another before we speak up for ourselves.

What there is to overcome this is to practice. Practice and practice. The more we ask, the more comfortable it becomes, and we are more apt to ask for more. And, GET more!

By: Susan Harrow

Susan Harrow — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 16:38:36 +0000

Oh my god. What a great expression!! I’ll be using it soon and crediting your husband. The more we’re all aware of “getting chicked” the sooner we can shift our behavior.

By: Carolyn Speranza

Carolyn Speranza — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 15:13:36 +0000

This article has me relive an experience of car shopping years ago. Even though I had had the (used) car checked out by a mechanic, the dealership would not budge on price or repairs and I excepted that! Now I look back at my own behavior, and think “never again.”

My husband has an expression he uses for a woman’s experience with mechanics and at dealerships. He calls it “getting chicked.” “Did they chick you?” he’ll ask. This experience is a cultural phenomenon.

By: Danielle

Danielle — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 20:58:00 +0000

What a great article! It is great to have someone around who is making it her mission to help empower others to get what they deserve!

By: Bill Weil

Bill Weil — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 15:08:04 +0000

Even though I am male, I also have struggled with negotiating for myself. I can negotiate like a tiger for someone else, but when it comes to me, there’s some psychology working against me. And I definitely know some women who are brilliantly unabashed at negotiating. And some men who cower. So, now I’m wondering whether this is a gender thing. Maybe ALL of us need Women-Drivers.com!

By: Chris Posti

Chris Posti — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 12:44:55 +0000

When I was vacationing in Egypt many years ago, I saw how it was S.O.P. for buyers to negotiate, and negotiate hard. In fact, if you didn’t negotiate, you would be a foolish tourist. That experience, for me, equates to your life-altering experience with Matt’s question.

Unfortunately, apparently many women don’t have such lightbulbs go off about negotiating. I don’t always negotiate – it just depends on the circumstances – but when I do, I like to see the reaction of the sales person. Usually, they are not expecting it – especially when I’m purchasing a car!

I’d suggest to anyone uncomfortable with negotiating that they do a ‘trial run’ when they really are not in the market for a car or some other product, just to get the feel of how to do it. And I just checked out your site, Anne, it’s very helpful to that end … and more.