by Dr. Marcia Reynolds
The Problem: You want to change your mind—to stop beating yourself up, to stop being afraid, and to stop spiraling into worry or negativity. You want to change your self-talk and emotions to feel better about yourself.
Unfortunately, you can’t just change your thoughts to change your mind. What neuroscientists now know about how the brain operates proves that self talk doesn’t completely work.* It is not possible to just think your way to a new attitude.
No matter how hard we try, we can’t seem to stop the negative mental chatter that leads to needless frustration, worrying, arguing, and eventually a numbing process that restricts access to joy and passion. Then we wonder why life is not much fun anymore, and our attitude sucks.
Instead of changing your self-talk to create success, you have to first feel your way there.
The Solution: Shift how you feel in the moment to a higher level emotion, such as gratitude, laughter (see yourself as a grand source of amusement), pride, compassion, or love.
First, you have to work on being present to the moment. Frequently stop and ask yourself how you are feeling. Then ask yourself if you would like to feel better. You must be willing to change or nothing else will work.
Then if you find yourself feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, fearful, or just plain stuck, take one of the following actions:
- Clear the air. Do something to shift your energy. Take a shower, change your clothes, or tidy up your office. If you’re at home, vacuum the living room, open a window, or even change the sheets on your bed. As you take these simple actions, imagine yourself clearing energy blocks that might be fueling your bad mood.
- Use your senses to shift your feeling. Recall a favorite smell and why the smell makes you feel good. Recall a favorite childhood song and start singing it out loud (Trust me, singing “Row, row, row your boat” will make you smile). Pick up an inspirational book, open to any page and start reading. For some people, taking a nap or watching a movie can do the trick. Sometimes it helps to shut your mind down for a while by resting or passively watching the world through someone else’s eyes.
- Put on some music. There’s nothing that can shift a mood quicker than music. Choose a CD that makes your feet move, one that makes your heart swell, or one you can sing along with.
- Get into motion. If you are still stuck mentally, move your body. For example, when you are angry with yourself, take a brisk walk, go on a bike ride, or go to a yoga or exercise class. The part of the brain that controls movement sits next to the emotional center, so there is a direct affect from exercise on your mood.
Change your feelings and you will change your mind. This is how you outsmart your negative brain.
*If you want to read a clear explanation about how the brain works, check out Outsmart Your Brain: How to Make Success Feel Easy by Marcia Reynolds on Amazon or www.Outsmartyourbrain.com.
