I asked powerful women in martial arts how training in their discipline helped them overcome issues, be stronger leaders and become more confident in themselves and less-self conscious of their bodies. I received so many replies from amazing women I decided to do a Martial Arts Mini Series. I hope you enjoy their stories of strength and endurance as much as I do.
Susan Harrow
Martial Arts for Women: Small Stature Strong Image
By Lynn Fabia
Martial Arts Background
I began my Aikido training in January 1982 at age thirty-three. I carry the rank of 6th degree black belt. I am the founder and director of Society of Aikido Centers since 2002.
How has martial arts helped you in your business?
Being an Aikido teacher has become my business career. It has helped me to focus on one thing at a time as we were taught in randori (freestyle). That being in a calm state helps us make better decisions. Whereas I was shy, I learned to be assertive.
Are you a better leader?
I continue to develop myself personally to be a better leader. The expansion of going through the personal transformation compelled me to write my first publication “The Martial Art of Life, The Art of Intentional Living” which is about the concepts that helped the self-actualization to take place.
How has training in martial arts has changed the way you feel about your body?
In 1982, at age 33 and being 5′1″ and 84 lbs, I studied martial arts for self-defense reasons. I was shy, reactive and took most things personally. My self-esteem was not very high. In the study of Aikido, you begin to learn about the mind, body, and spirit connection. As we learn to manage energy, we connect with our spirit. By connecting to our spirit, you can connect with intent. The whole basis behind Aikido is rooted in intent.
As I began to develop in the art, I learned how to use my body in a way which wasn’t based on physical strength. The mind and spirit have no size and I found the mental and spiritual aspects especially intriguing. Only when I saw myself in photos or videos, then I understood why others made such comments about my small stature. However, as I continued to train and focus on internal energy, the students on the receiving end began to feel the power of my movements. Something had changed and my perception of myself was transforming. What my size reflected was not my identity.
When you started what has the training taught you?
It has taught me that we create an image of ourselves and others are picking up the vibration of how we feel about ourselves. If we focus on our lack of, they feel it. If we focus on self-development, we will always be successful.
I went through a personal struggle in the beginning of my training since I couldn’t understand how my size could be effective. I was frustrated and from the student’s perspective it looked like I wouldn’t survive, but my spirit would not allow it.
Where you are now and how has it affected your image of yourself?
It is now twenty-eight years later. In 2002, in my twentieth year I created my own organization, Society of Aikido Centers. It also placed me in a position of being the first female to head an international Aikido organization in the U.S. I was discovering who I was being the “leader” which meant being the creator, innovator and learning how to manage the organization which consisted of 90% male students. Throughout my training because of my physical stature, my rank and being a female, I was consistently tested by the male students. I had to learn this art and learn it well. Now in my early sixties at 5′1″ and 96 lbs. with six grandchildren, I am still discovering the creativity of this profound art. When you make changes on the inside, the outside will change on its own. It is better to be the real you because when you root your movements in fear, it is always wrong.
What could help other women feel calm, centered and confident?
I teach using ’soft gaze’ in my classes. Being in soft gaze allows a person to see the attackers in an unfocussed way, to look at them as part of a scene as opposed to looking at them directly. By doing this they can center very easily in the same way when someone walks behind them. By staying calm and feeling the situation, the field of energy, then you will know when to move. It’s that field of energy fluctuation that is the information necessary to move before you are touched. The way to be centered is not to focus. You can immediately feel the switch from being apprehensive, fearful and reactive to feeling calm, centered and being responsive in the moment. I encourage the students to use it as often as they can to heighten their awareness. This is one of the best tips I would give anyone.
I’d like to hear a dramatic, moving, profound before and after story.
Although I was making great strides in my profession as an Aikido instructor, there were challenges in my personal life that needed to be understood. I felt encumbered by past issues, issues in the present and fears that there was nothing I could change and the very fear of change. When I look back I could see that this encapsulated my life and showed in my appearance and in my beliefs.
Then a door opened and the concepts were through that door. The concepts which were given to me to write the book are profound and different from the traditional Aikido principles. High spiritual beings channeled through a medium instructed me on understanding of how the universe works. This is when things started to develop. I didn’t feel alone anymore and I became a little bit stronger. As I became stronger, I pushed away the negativities in my life. I wrote how these concepts of the universe work and I am now passionate about my life, my endeavors, my focus and my destiny. Once you begin on this path, there is no going back. I was actually teaching these concepts without applying them because I did not know they could be applied. I use these concepts more all the time and even when I begin to feel otherwise, I mentally say “I’m capable of handling this.” These concepts change your existence.
Lynn Fabia is an Aikido teacher (6th degree black belt), lecturer and author. She has always had a deep desire for higher understanding. Although she was making great strides in her profession as an Aikido instructor, there were challenges in her personal life that needed to be understood. My journey began as one who was shy, reactive and fearful of many things, causing me to be limited in my understanding of life. Then a door opened and the life concepts were through that door that took me to a place in my mind and spirit that changed my life forever. Her book “The Martial Art of Life, The Art of Intentional Living” is based on the teachings of high spiritual beings that have availed her the opportunity to learn some of the most powerful tools in mankind’s interactions. Read her personal transformation to self-actualization.
