Susan Harrow

Martial Arts for Women: Presence and Intent Helps Resolve Conflict Quickly
By Ginny Breeland

Call me the reluctant aikidoka. I was a skeptic (not a cynic), a doubting Thomas (not a disbeliever), and a pragmatist (not a non-conformist). For a length of time Aikido was nothing to me but exercise. 30 years ago my sister dragged me into my first Aikido class. I was 18 ys old and knew nothing of the art, but such things happen for reasons for it was there that I met my future husband, #1 fan, and uke, Pete.  Regardless of how it all began, Aikido has had a profound impact on my life.

It may have been my size, 5′ 100 lbs that led me to question whether I could really do this art. The philosophy seemed too esoteric. But since I was a good student, I learned the techniques and my husband and I continued practicing. He, my mentor and my security blanket. We practiced for years and progressed.  When I got my black belt I was still insecure but felt I better attend to my studies more seriously because here I now stood with this great big black flag called a hakama.

How has it affected my business?  I have worked as a cytotechnologist in a pathology lab for the last 25 years. Doctors were my bosses and I had always done my job quietly and efficiently. I kept my good opinions to myself even when I disagreed with conclusions and diagnosis. Aikido gave me the confidence and foresight to be able to stand toe to toe with my superiors. Notice, toe to toe, not head to head (or headlong).

Aikido taught me how to approach indirectly and end up side by side. I was able to get my opinions heard and acknowledged. The model of conflict resolution that constructs Aikido physically had entered my interaction off the mat. I began to understand. Aikido allowed me to make my point with no threat, and with more certainty. It often left my superiors confused but not antagonized. In Aikido you make his intent your intent so your intent can be ‘heard’. It also taught me how to give respect and receive respect as well. It changed how people at work approached me and some were puzzled.

With my 2nd degree black belt I started to teach, again with reluctance, after all what could I teach a 6 foot tall man? But this was the greatest opportunity of growth.  Sometimes I messed up, so I understood what it meant to invest in loss, because I learned. At the time I only had begun to carry myself with confidence, thank goodness my Sensei knew more about me than I did. But I still felt not taken seriously as a woman, men walked past me to train with other men. I decided it was my presence. My brain had to be fixed.  here was nothing I could do about my size and gender, but a lot I could do about my Presence.

When I became 3rd degree black belt the growth continued. It was a very physical time of learning. I consumed every style and training I could while balancing a family and job. I practiced many styles but kept my Iwama core. The problem was it just a very good outer physical core. It was really not until I was a 4th degree black belt that I suddenly felt one with my sword and jo. What a surprising feeling. I had thought I had accomplished this long ago, when I knew all the katas and taught them. But not really, now this oneness was an epiphany. I learned the dimensions like words. The differences between attention, concentration, and focus. These words are not the same and yet I had treated them so. Once again I was humbled and decided to take some steps back and stop assuming I knew. Truth was, the more you know, the more you do not know.

It was at this time of immense growth that life collapsed when my son became seriously ill and permanently disabled. Sometimes it is through the randomness and the wanderings in life that the depth and severity of existence is revealed. Through trauma, life change, or the simple pursuit for deeper meaning do we discover the path for simple existence. What was complex was now easy. What was arduous was now a daily endeavor, and what was difficult has oddly a shown pathway of the coexistence of joy and pain. Since our bodies carry our histories, when I returned to Aikido, a couple of years later, I had totally changed and so had my Aikido. Techniques became more acute, basics were the advanced material. I dispensed with useless showy movement. The universe had shifted from me to now my uke being the center of the universe and I in the periphery. I also felt a responsibility to contribute in helping humanity.

O Sensei had a military position in WWII as it began and perhaps of what he witnessed caused him to retreat into the country and create Aikido. The art that resolves conflict preserving both attacker and defender. He manipulated limbs to their natural extent and immobilized his opponents with closed circles (arm locks) or open circles (throwing uke) limbs were manipulated to full extent but not broken. What was his motivation? The atrocities of war? Aikido is known as the art of peace.

In all martial arts there are more similarities then differences. Masters get past the physical and encourage avoidance of conflict as well. Better to move like a shadow, respond like an echo, rest like a mirror, conform like water.

In our daily lives how can this affect us? What are we able to do even though we do not practice any martial arts? And if we do, how do we past the physical? The physical in martial arts is necessary, though other work can lead toward understanding service and peace. Commitment and arduous work in one form or another is all that is required.  Some of what we can do is:

1. Do your best everyday.
   There are few perfect warriors, our goal is to try and be impeccable.
2. Live like and respect nature.
   Accept things as they are, follow the natural course of things and be patient, don’t always expect instant results.
3. Be aware.
   Look so you can really ’see’. Hear so you can feel what is happening around you. Feel so you can sense.  Follow but be the first to move.
4. Have compassion with wisdom so limits are not exhausted.
   Care for every being not just those you can gain from but the disheartened and the lost.
5. Tend to your own fruitfulness.
   Claim your own space. Meditate, Laugh, be Brave. Be in the company of those who promote health.

Martial arts provides a physical meditation. Hard work, leaving your zone of comfort, willingness and open mindedness allow you to arrive at the door to be ready to be of service to others much sooner than simply wanting to look good. As we move along with life we realize that what we thought was our own learning should ultimately transfer into a desire to teach and care for others like nature with no discrimination and no expectations in return. There are many pitfalls along the way. Aikido has illuminated dimensions for me and still I know there is more. I continue to study as it never ends, it is a lifelong process.

Ginny Breeland, 5th Dan, studied Exfoliative Cytology at the UCSF Medical center and has worked in a Pathology lab for over 25 years as a Cytotechnologist. Ginny has combined studying the brain and the art and science of learning/teaching. She and her husband, Pete, have trained for over 30 years and teach at Cotati Aikido. Ginny has taught Aikido for over ten years, integrating ideas on brain science, the balance between the right and left, yin and yang, the body and logic, the unconscious and the conscious. Ginny uses all of this in her mission to make Aikido accessible to anyone and everyone.

Favorite Morihei Ueshiba (founder of Aikido) quote: “The Art of Peace begins with you. Work on yourself and your appointed task in the Art of Peace. Everyone has a spirit that can be refined, a body that can be trained in some manner, a suitable path to follow…apply the Art to all that you encounter.”

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Susan Harrow

Martial Arts Background
I began my Aikido training in January 1982 at age thirty-three. I carry the rank of 6th degree black belt. I am the founder and director of Society of Aikido Centers since 2002.

How has martial arts helped you in your business?
Being an Aikido teacher has become my business career. It has helped me to focus on one thing at a time as we were taught in randori (freestyle). That being in a calm state helps us make better decisions. Whereas I was shy, I learned to be assertive.

Are you a better leader?
I continue to develop myself personally to be a better leader. The expansion of going through the personal transformation compelled me to write my first publication “The Martial Art of Life, The Art of Intentional Living” which is about the concepts that helped the self-actualization to take place.

How has training in martial arts has changed the way you feel about your body?
In 1982, at age 33 and being 5′1″ and 84 lbs, I studied martial arts for self-defense reasons. I was shy, reactive and took most things personally. My self-esteem was not very high. In the study of Aikido, you begin to learn about the mind, body, and spirit connection. As we learn to manage energy, we connect with our spirit. By connecting to our spirit, you can connect with intent. The whole basis behind Aikido is rooted in intent.

As I began to develop in the art, I learned how to use my body in a way which wasn’t based on physical strength. The mind and spirit have no size and I found the mental and spiritual aspects especially intriguing. Only when I saw myself in photos or videos, then I understood why others made such comments about my small stature. However, as I continued to train and focus on internal energy, the students on the receiving end began to feel the power of my movements. Something had changed and my perception of myself was transforming. What my size reflected was not my identity.

When you started what has the training taught you?
It has taught me that we create an image of ourselves and others are picking up the vibration of how we feel about ourselves. If we focus on our lack of, they feel it. If we focus on self-development, we will always be successful.

I went through a personal struggle in the beginning of my training since I couldn’t understand how my size could be effective. I was frustrated and from the student’s perspective it looked like I wouldn’t survive, but my spirit would not allow it.

Where you are now and how has it affected your image of yourself?
It is now twenty-eight years later. In 2002, in my twentieth year I created my own organization, Society of Aikido Centers. It also placed me in a position of being the first female to head an international Aikido organization in the U.S. I was discovering who I was being the “leader” which meant being the creator, innovator and learning how to manage the organization which consisted of 90% male students. Throughout my training because of my physical stature, my rank and being a female, I was consistently tested by the male students. I had to learn this art and learn it well. Now in my early sixties at 5′1″ and 96 lbs. with six grandchildren, I am still discovering the creativity of this profound art. When you make changes on the inside, the outside will change on its own. It is better to be the real you because when you root your movements in fear, it is always wrong.
What could help other women feel calm, centered and confident?
I teach using ’soft gaze’ in my classes. Being in soft gaze allows a person to see the attackers in an unfocussed way, to look at them as part of a scene as opposed to looking at them directly. By doing this they can center very easily in the same way when someone walks behind them. By staying calm and feeling the situation, the field of energy, then you will know when to move. It’s that field of energy fluctuation that is the information necessary to move before you are touched. The way to be centered is not to focus. You can immediately feel the switch from being apprehensive, fearful and reactive to feeling calm, centered and being responsive in the moment. I encourage the students to use it as often as they can to heighten their awareness. This is one of the best tips I would give anyone.

I’d like to hear a dramatic, moving, profound before and after story.
Although I was making great strides in my profession as an Aikido instructor, there were challenges in my personal life that needed to be understood. I felt encumbered by past issues, issues in the present and fears that there was nothing I could change and the very fear of change. When I look back I could see that this encapsulated my life and showed in my appearance and in my beliefs.

Then a door opened and the concepts were through that door. The concepts which were given to me to write the book are profound and different from the traditional Aikido principles. High spiritual beings channeled through a medium instructed me on understanding of how the universe works. This is when things started to develop. I didn’t feel alone anymore and I became a little bit stronger. As I became stronger, I pushed away the negativities in my life. I wrote how these concepts of the universe work and I am now passionate about my life, my endeavors, my focus and my destiny. Once you begin on this path, there is no going back. I was actually teaching these concepts without applying them because I did not know they could be applied. I use these concepts more all the time and even when I begin to feel otherwise, I mentally say “I’m capable of handling this.” These concepts change your existence.

Lynn Fabia is an Aikido teacher (6th degree black belt), lecturer and author. She has always had a deep desire for higher understanding. Although she was making great strides in her profession as an Aikido instructor, there were challenges in her personal life that needed to be understood. My journey began as one who was shy, reactive and fearful of many things, causing me to be limited in my understanding of life. Then a door opened and the life concepts were through that door that took me to a place in my mind and spirit that changed my life forever. Her book “The Martial Art of Life, The Art of Intentional Living” is based on the teachings of high spiritual beings that have availed her the opportunity to learn some of the most powerful tools in mankind’s interactions. Read her personal transformation to self-actualization.

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Susan Harrow

A friend taught me some Aikido moves back when I was in my 20s – I did not have the money to study it formally then, but showed the moves to my boyfriend who was delighted with how a small woman could move a much larger man with almost no effort.

Long story short, my boyfriend became my husband and we both started studying Tai chi chuan back in the 1980s. Why Tai Chi? Because my husband was throwing out his neck doing plastering and the chiropractor told him to do some kind of exercise that would balance out the sides of his body. I took it up just for health and to help handle stress. My husband, Rick, studied intensively with Master William CC Chen in Manhattan. I did it once in a while. 

Years went by, Master Chen told Rick to start teaching. At this point we had three children and a small construction company. When he started teaching, I started going to his class and really learning tai chi. The form was great for health and stress reduction, but I found that push hands was incredible for me. Push hands is a two person exercise where you try to throw your partner off balance. (and to maintain your own balance while doing so) There were not a lot of women in class, so I got to practice push hands with a lot of men. Since they were almost all bigger, stronger and more aggressive than I was, I leaned to neutralize incoming force by deflecting, by getting out of the way, by finding their weak spots and being faster then they were.

Not only did I get stronger and more balanced, but I became confident that I could at least confront incoming force. Tai chi also has martial applications and it was fun and empowering to know how to disengage from grabs easily, how to deflect force, etc. 

Years went by. The construction company hit rough times and went bust. I went back to work in an office to handle finances while Rick started to study Polarity Therapy while continuing to teach Tai Chi. Rick started teaching a yearly workshop in Sedona, Arizona called TaiChi Alchemy, bringing together Tai Chi students and teachers from around the country to share approaches, exercises, knowledge of internal martial arts. 

It was at this yearly workshop that I met incredible women from around the country. All of these women practice tai chi, some teach it, some are accomplished and some are beginners. They have various occupations, an artist in Florida, a poet in NY, a musician in Connecticut, a homeopathic physician in CA, etc.,etc. We have been doing this workshop once a year for the past 15 years. You can see some photos on my husbands website.

Years went by. Rick wrote a book about his approach to Tai Chi. My whole take on it changed. Learned to practice energetic coherence. Got more and more into internal energy and using least amount of effort to do the job. Realized that I was using these principals constantly in my life and work. Started seeing correlations between the tai chi practice and energy medicine. Realized that I was rarely ever sick these days. (not true 10 years ago) As one of Ricks senior students, I help to coach others. The past couple years, Rick has been teaching us a new approach to push hands, and I have seen women in particular blossom with this approach. Confronting incoming energy of any sort – physical, emotional, mental – is easier. Awareness is up. Reaction time is way up. Ability to deal with whatever comes up is now effortless.   Meanwhile, raised my kids, have been working in IT for the past 15 years. My daughter, who graduated from college last year, considers the TaiChi Alchemy workshop crowd to be her extended family. 

If you want tips for women to get centered, etc., let me know and I will get you info on energetic coherence. I do not have a business and am not a leader, so I probably wouldn’t be right for your article. However, I know lots of taichi women, so perhaps I can put you in touch with someone who would qualify. Tell me what you are looking for and Ill reach out to the tai chi community. 

I really think you need to consider writing about Tai Chi. Internal energy cultivation is possible for women of all ages. (I’m 60 now and better than I ever was at push hands and applications) Its a martial art that can be done at any age. It increases balance and overall health, and it can totally help you deal with life with equanimity.

Maria Barrett has been practicing tai chi chuan for almost 30 years. Tai chi works with internal energy rather than muscular force. Coherent energy can be incredibly strong, fast and effective. As a senior student of her husband, Rick Barrett, Maria especially enjoys helping students to be comfortable with incoming force and with their own power. She is a big fan of using taichi principles in life, to handle physical, mental, emotional energy, and to feel good in your own skin.

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Susan Harrow

How has doing martial arts helped you in your business?  Martial arts have given me more focus, discipline and confidence over the years in both sales and marketing for major fashion designers and now running my own art business.

Are you a better leader?  I feel that I am a more confident leader. I also have learned through martial arts that you cannot B.S. yourself. Either you have what it takes to enter the fray, you develop what you need or you stay out of harm’s way.

How has training in martial arts has changed the way you feel about your body?  Since I was a model for several years–including swim wear and lingerie–I have always had a good body image. However martial arts gave me an additional and fun way to stay in shape. And frankly, when you have a good body you need confidence to say “no” to a lot of people in a lot of situations.

I’d like to hear dramatic, moving, profound before and after stories. Where you started, what training has taught you, where you are now and how it’s affected your image of yourself. I first started training right after I married my husband artist Pablo Solomon. He had trained since childhood and was a master of several styles ( he even did classes for the Queen’s Guard in the Netherlands). However, he felt that I would benefit more if I had a teacher other than him. So he had me train with a Chinese master of Wing Chun literally in a room in the back of the guy’s restaurant–real movie stuff. The Wing Chun style was actually started by a female Buddhist monk several hundred years ago. It depends on slipping and deflecting attacks. I had never done anything like this before and it was both interesting and made me feel as if I could defend myself.

Actually, I never had to use my martial arts directly (although on our honeymoon in Mexico we were attacked on a moon light walk on the beach and Pablo kicked the crap out of three attackers using jujitsu throws). However, the alertness and confidence that I had gained saved my life at least once. I was working for Diane von Furstenberg in sales and marketing and was returning to my car on an open parking lot after a sales meeting. I could see a man stalking me and trying to circle me to approach me. I had an umbrella with me so I just dropped my briefcase and purse, took a strong stance and pointed my umbrella menacingly at the guy and shouted in a command voice “get away!” The guy was so shocked he actually left like a scared dog.

I’m also after concrete tips that would help other women become more calm, centered, confident.The best tip I can give is to use breathing, posture and focus at all times ( yoga is good for this also). The number one practical tip is to be alert and aware of your surroundings. Also, trust your instincts. If a situation feels wrong–get out. Do not worry about appearing paranoid, insensitive, etc. Just listen to that internal alarm and move. Also, always fight. It is better to be taken to the hospital from a parking lot after resisting and being shot or stabbed than to be kidnapped and raped and tortured to death over a long period of torment.

I’m particularly interested in Aikido because of the “way of harmony” philosophy and since I began training a year ago. Aikido is a hybrid of Japanese sword technique and jujitsu. Pablo is very good at Aikido as well as several other arts. His comment is that Aikido is very good but requires many years of training to reach a point where it will do you a lot of good on the street. His advice to me and most other women is to carry an ice pick. If you are too timid to rip out a rapist’s eyes, you probably don’t really value your life very much.

Please let me know the type of martial arts you do, how long you’ve been training, and your rank. I have trained formally and with Pablo for the 35 years of our marriage. Let’s just say that I can defend myself. As Pablo who has taught martial arts around the world says, ” A real master worries more about his belt holding up his pants than about its color impressing others.”

My name is Beverly Solomon and am currently Creative Director for musee-solomon. I was a model and then an account executive in sales and marketing for Diane von Furstenberg, Revlon and Ralph Lauren. I now live and work with my husband internationally recognized artist Pablo Solomon on our 1856 historic ranch in the Texas Hill Country north of Austin. I manage our art business and also provide expertise in the areas of art, fashion and beauty. I have been featured in books, newspapers, magazines and TV. You can see me at http://www.beverlysolomon.com/

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One of the major goals of the 1997 Body Image Survey was to learn more about how people have remade their image. Though we anticipated receiving a few brief suggestions, we were inundated with your personal accounts of change. We have summarized your suggestions but kept your words. Try and discover what factors play a role in your struggle with your body. And be deliberate about creating a lifestyle that increases your chances for ending the war with your body.

1. Develop criteria for self-esteem that go beyond appearance.
   One way to make appearance less important is to develop other benchmarks for self-evaluation. A 51-year-old woman from California summarizes the approach: “By achieving in other areas, balancing successes and failures, searching where positives are possible.” A 53-year-old Washington man says, “focusing on succeeding at work, participating in sports, and friendships have helped me overcome my negative body feelings.”
2. Cultivate the ability to appreciate your body, especially how it functions.
   One middle-aged women writes: “I have often wanted to write an article called ‘I Have a Beautiful Body.’ No. I don’t look like Jane Fonda. I look like a normal 46-year-old woman who has had three children. But my body is beautiful because of all it does for me. I have two eyes that can see, a large nose for smelling, a large mouth for eating and smiling, two hands that can hold and hug, two breasts that have nursed three sons, an abdomen that was home to three babies, two legs that can walk everywhere I want to go, and two feet to take me there.”

   “I have extremely red hair and as a child I hated it because it was so different,” says a 20-year-old woman from California. “I have come to realize that my hair is a beautiful and exotic part of me. Now I cherish it.”

3. Engage in behavior that makes you feel good about yourself.
   “When I have negative thoughts and feelings about my physical appearance, I try to behave in a way that turns them around, like exercise and buying a piece of clothing that enhances my appearance,” says a 30-year-old Missouri woman.”

   Although Rubenesque at age 54, I currently model nude for a local university art school, meditate daily to focus inward, and enjoy dancing, swimming, archery, art, and my writing projects,” says a Georgia woman.

4. Reduce your exposure to noxious images.
   “I stopped buying fashion magazines completely when I was about 24,” says a 30-year-old woman from Michigan. “Comparing myself to the models had a very strong and negative impact.”

   “One of the things that helped me become more accepting of my body was the realization that it was okay to be female,” says a 67-year-old woman from Ohio. “It sounds hokey, but watching old movies starring Sophia Loren and Ava Gardner helped. These women had shoulders, and breasts, and hips, and are some of the sexiest women I have ever seen.”

5. Exercise for strength, fitness, and health, not just weight control.
   “When I was able to stop focusing on how my body looked and began experiencing what it could help me accomplish — climbing, swimming, cycling, surviving in the wilderness — it made me feel extremely satisfied,” says a 28-year-old woman from Louisiana.”

   About a year ago I started walking every day for about an hour,” says a 22-year-old woman from New York. “Because I was walking I felt so good. I also lost 10 pounds, but that didn’t matter. My attitude changed because I cared about my health.”

6. Seek out others who respect and care about your body; teach them how to talk about and touch your body.
   “The most recent experience that has helped has been a lover,” says a 67-year-old Ohio woman. “He makes me glad to be in this body with this shape and these dimensions.”
7. Get out abusive relationships.
   “If my partner didn’t like my appearance, he would no longer be my partner,” says a 31-year-old woman from Alabama. “I eliminate the negative.”
8. Identify and change habitual negative thoughts about your body.
   “I constructed a tape of positive self-talk with personal goals and feelings I want to achieve,” says a 25-year-old Washington woman. “When I have a bad attitude about my body, I pop in my tape. It really helps improve my self-image.”

   “When I look in the mirror at my body I always try to say nice things rather than cringe,” continues the wise-beyond-her-years 25-year-old.

9. Decode more complicated thoughts about the body.
   Are negative thoughts and feelings about your body distracting you from other issues that are really bothering you? A 60-year-old woman writes: “A factor that has helped me come to terms with my body was recognizing that much of my relationship problems had more to do with shyness and lack of social skills than physical appearance. Once I worked on my people skills, found that I worried less about my appearance.”
10. If you can’t get over your bad body image, consider seeking professional help.
    “I was bulimic for 12 years,” says a 36-year-old woman from Oregon. “My recovery was based on individual counseling, support from friends, and a hell of a lot of hard work on my part.”
11. Control what you can, forget about what you can’t.
    “As far as negativity about my physical appearance,” says a 33-year-old woman from Michigan, “I’ve had one simple rule: work on improving what you can realistically change, and don’t spend time worrying about the rest.”

Read the whole article here.

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Today the world told me to let up a little, to not push so hard at doing. I ask myself, “What is rest?” And I must say he’s a poor acquaintance, and often unwelcome at my door.

Today the world told me that perhaps what I wish for is something not so big. A little loosening around the waist and eyes could be good, to let in a little more seeing and a little less thinking.

Today the world told me that a runny nose can be a good thing. I’m moist, liquid, made of moving matter.

A woman client said to me, “I love my baby. I have a good husband, two dogs and a wine cellar full of Beaulieu and Chardonnay and that it is enough.”

My Aunt Rosie keeps in her wallet a 70 year-old photo of her standing slim and proud, her hand on an old Chevy, her head cocked slightly to one side. “See,” she says, “See, I was once thin and beautiful.”

She has never learned to cook, or drive. People magazine is her Bible and everyday the thing she looks forward to is her next meal my Nana makes faithfully, every day. And I wonder, how do we judge a life? The past, the present, the future. What matters most as we sit down to yet another meal?

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John Stevens Sensei & Susan Harrow

This weekend John Stevens, a 7th dan Aikikai and Buddhist priest came to our dojo, Bay Marin Aikido. Stevens, who has written over thirty books on Buddhism, Aikido and Asian culture, is considered one of the foremost authorities on Aikido. The experience was enriching, wild-hearted and intense.

Beginners and experienced Aikidokas (Aikido practitioners) were challenged by Stevens’ examples of how to practice. He demonstrated eight ways of practicing the first pillar of Aikido, Shiho-Nage, 4-directions throw, which we were then to practice. A bit of chaos ensued. The mood of the dojo was filled with excitement, joy, bewilderment, a place of opening, which had us laughing and sometimes straining to understand.

He kept saying, “This is training. This is practice, eh?” He has a lovely lightness to his presence and  practice. He said that, at this time in his life, because he couldn’t use as much physical power in Aikido he had a much better understanding of its essence. This came through quite clearly when he demonstrated throws. The energy and lightness of his touch is something I want to emulate.

One of my favorite parts of the weekend was learning Kototama, the secret sacred sounds of Aikido. These sounds evidently sunk in to my unconscious mind. My sweetie informed me that I was practicing them (loudly) in my dreams and was driven from the bedroom to the guest room so he could get some sleep!

You can hear John Stevens Sensei performing Kototama or sound meditation in a church in The Netherlands here. He said that on the first take he was too self-conscious about how he sounded so it didn’t turn out. It was only when he forgot himself that he found the freedom to let the sounds come through unobstructed.

As you can hear, they came out whole and strong and clear. I find that when I media coach people this is true for them too. When we speak from a place of no-thinking our stories universally come out whole and complete. They don’t need editing. If we can drop into this place and rest there our thoughts and actions serve us well.

After two hours of practice we took a break for lunch and then began several hours of calligraphy using breath, kiais (short yell before or during a strike or technique) and lots of ink and paper. Of course our practice and life experience show up here as well; In the way a line is too thin or forced or broken, how we flow, the way we begin and end a stroke, our attention, the ways we stop ourselves or critique in the middle of doing. Whether we will it or not who we are is seen clearly, in the black ink of our doing and on the white paper of possibility.

Stevens suggested we put up our Calligraphy in the dojo and live with it, and watch how it evolves. He commented on how our sensei, Hans Goto’s, strokes had changed since last year. Both of them have been practicing Aikido for over 35 years. Often we don’t notice the shifts that happen over time as we move through our busy lives as we do.

Since starting to practice Aikido I’ll try to apply what I learn there to PR and to life. The phrase, “How you do anything is how you do everything” has truth to it. When you put yourself out in the world and connect with others everything shows up: whether you’re doing calligraphy, cutting a flower, speaking to your children, or handling yourself on-camera, we see who you are.

I remember Hale Dwoskin, CEO and Director of Training of Sedona Training Associates, saying, when you think of someone as a stranger they are really just a forgotten part of yourself. Aikido, and PR bring those reminders quickly present to right here right now. Everything that you do, say, are and think is your private dojo, and noticing how you respond to every given experience, an opportunity to practice.

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