Photo by Aleksandra P., Poland

I’m not.

Last week I performed an experiment. I took off my clothes at my friends house in front of her and her 15 year old daughter.

Why? Because I want to feel completely unencumbered by my body.  I asked permission, of course. And wore good underwear. My friend, being a good sport, said, “Sure, in the kitchen while I cook up the meat.” So we poured ourselves a glass of good red wine, seared some flesh, and heated up the room.

I remember reading about a man in a Tantric workshop who was crippled, yet, when he took off his clothes in front of the group with no artifice everyone saw him as luminous and beautiful. This is what I had in mind for me, in the kitchen. No strip tease, no attitude, no artifice. I wanted to be relaxed and easy, like I am at home in front of my partner, Will, in bright daylight.

At first my friend and her daughter didn’t really look. Then they glanced in my direction once in a while. Then finally they drank me in bit by bit. No one said anything about a particular part. No one threw up. I had wanted to walk around, but I found myself rooted behind the table and chairs. That’s as comfortable as I could get.

But I did it.

The next morning I told my sweetie, Will, what I had done and his reaction was not what I’d hoped for. “You don’t just go to other people’s houses and strip off all your clothes.” He was furious. I was deeply disappointed. He wouldn’t speak to me. I let him be while he thought things out.

That night, before bedtime, we talked. Will said he felt it was a breach of our intimacy and that I had shared something that was meant just for us. For me it was a daring investigation into how I see and live with my body; a personal test.

“What’s next?” Will said. “Nude hot-tubbing with the guys just to see if you can do it? Lady Godiva-ing around your Aikido Dojo?” I can understand his point of view. And by the end of our talk I think he understood mine. I don’t feel the need to escalate. It was a mini milestone for me. For the moment I feel complete.

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The Tyra Show

Do you have a body part that you absolutely hate and sometimes feel ashamed of? Are you constantly finding ways to cover it up or hide it? Do you always feel anxious whenever out in public, perhaps fearing that others are staring at you because of a self-perceived body flaw? If you have serious issues with one of your body parts, and wish you could change it, contact us.

How many of us fit the bill? Probably 99% of all American women. Are you one of them?

One of my clients is a body image expert and in one of our media coaching sessions  she said that she practices mirror gazing — naked. Every night before bed she stands in front of a full length mirror and looks at her body and loves each part, loves the whole of her.

Impossible? I thought so when I first started. At first I saw only the ill-effects of gravity, fat where there should be muscle and cellulite in all the worst places.

But after a few months things began to shift. I could see that I had great collarbones. Then I moved on down… It took a while, but now I can look at the whole kit and kaboodle and say, “Not bad.” I can’t say I love it all, but that I have a few good features that time has not yet taken full toll.

When I go deeper than that I can appreciate that I’m strong, healthy, athletic, and have a sense of grace and joy. When I spoke to Diana Marie Estey, Yoga Instructor for Yoga Works in Larkspur CA, at a Yoga Retreat, about body beauty through yoga she said, “I’m more interested in helping people connect to their sense of aliveness.”

Rather than worrying about what we hate about ourselves she advised that we see how we can create connection to our environment, the beauty of nature, each other, ourselves. I was thinking about connecting to this sense of aliveness today when I was out walking on my usual route, sniffing flowers, picking blackberries, and fuzzling dogs and cats I’ve come to know. On this hot night I passed a neighbor’s kids running through their sprinkler on the lawn, naked, laughing, wet and cool, screaming in delight.

“They are so lucky!” I yelled to their dad. “Don’t we all wish we could do the same?” What if we remembered the delight in being naked? Water, sun, air on our skin under the big big sky with no other thought than how good we feel?

Susan Harrow is the author of Sell Yourself Without Selling Your Soul. She runs a Media Consultancy where she helps everyone from Fortune 500 CEOs to celebrity chefs, entrepreneurs to authors grow their business through media coaching and the power of PR. For more information please contact her here.

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One blog commentor wrote:
Ladies: this is NOT attractive. she appears a little too old to be wearing something so revealing; and what she is revealing looks a little too saggy to be revealed. maybe it’s her poor posture in the photo that’s doing it, but it makes me wince.

A few others had a sense of humor about it:
I’ve seen enough celebrity nipples to last for the rest of my life. Not only is it tasteless, but just plain immodest. Get a grip. Otherwise it’s a pretty dress. Wear a chemise, okay?

I STRONGLY feel that ALL attractive women should dress this way.

All the time.

And jog more.

In place even.

And one lamented the loss of her fuller figure:
Y’know, I love Jennifer Connelly. Always have. It’s just such a damn shame that when she started out as a full-figured, voluptuous, gorgeous young woman, Hollywood convinced her she was fat. One breast reduction surgery and 20 yrs of starvation later, and she’s a stick. A beautiful, very talented stick, but still a stick. Makes me sad.

What is it in women that makes them want to put their privates on display? Love to hear what you think. Would you wear this red dress? Why, or why not.

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