Being overly sensitive to how people judge us isn’t always a sign of low self-esteem; confident women also worry about how other’s view them. We are supposed to be perfect so we work hard to maintain this status. As a successful high-achiever, I have had to learn to take risks, love myself even when I make mistakes, and appreciate my aging body.
“Our stories are in us from a long time ago,” says DeeDee Myers a leadership trainer, speaker, triathlete and mother of quadruplets, twins and three other children. One of her core life stories came as age 16 on her first date. She met a cute boy at a football game on a chilly day so Myers was wearing a jacket. When Myers greeted him at the door when he came to pick her up she immediately saw the look on his face. She said, “I thought, ‘Oh my God, he doesn’t want to go out with me because I only have one arm.’”
I got an email from a woman who signed her missive “secretly wimpy,” and went on to describe the fears that hold her back from becoming a more public person. I loved the tone of her writing and thought that many other people would like to hear about people like her who have great gifts to give the world, but who have reservations about “coming out” into the scary world at large. Here is our email exchange.
One of the major goals of the 1997 Body Image Survey was to learn more about how people have remade their image. Though we anticipated receiving a few brief suggestions, we were inundated with your personal accounts of change. We have summarized your suggestions but kept your words. Try and discover what factors play a role in your struggle with your body. And be deliberate about creating a lifestyle that increases your chances for ending the war with your body.
DeeDee Myers is never without a tube of lipstick in her purse. Leadership expert, triathlete and mother of quadruplets, twins and three other children, she’s always prepared, always presentable, no matter what. In Eighth grade her mother told her that she needed all the help she could get given that she was born with only one arm.
Summer nights are quite balmy here in Marin. The upcoming Indian summer promises to be a warpath of high temps and scalding sunshine. After being a fog friendly San Francisco Girl these past 25 years – I’m adjusting to the new climate and dramatic wardrobe differences. Even my sleeping attire has changed.
I’m not.
Last week I performed an experiment. I took off my clothes at my friends house in front of her and her 15 year old daughter.
Why? Because I want to feel completely unencumbered by my body.
Our self image begins once we become aware we are separate from our parents. So what they think, say and do we naturally imitate. Often messages from our parents are transmitted unconsciously. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Check out this article with advice from Dr. Brian Alman on how conscious parenting can instill a strong sense of self for your children.
My neighbor told me he thought I looked better when I was heavier. He didn’t exactly come out with it right away, but kept alluding to it until I finally got it.
At first, a few weeks ago, he stopped his car on his way home, leaned out his window and said I was looking leaner by the day. I fondled his two tiny dogs while we chatted about my Aikido training.
The Tyra Show just submitted a query asking for:
Do you have a body part that you absolutely hate and sometimes feel ashamed of? Are you constantly finding ways to cover it up or hide it? Do you always feel anxious whenever out in public, perhaps fearing that others are staring at you because of a self-perceived body flaw? If you have serious issues with one of your body parts, and wish you could change it, contact us.
Friday, March 12, 3:02 am
Yoga and Sea Kayaking in Baja with SeaTrek, March 19-26, 2010
with Diana Estey
De-stress and Re-energize with Yin Yoga, with Diana Estey
Sell Yourself Without Selling Your Soul
A Woman's
Guide to Promoting Herself, Her Business, or Her Cause with
Integrity & Spirit
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publicity and marketing book
Sell Yourself Without Selling Your Soul
Self Esteem from the Inside Out
Live seminar recording from the 2005 Fresno Women's Conference
Audio CD or Electronic Transcript
Why Can't Women Be More Like Men?
What You Don't Know About Gender Differences
Live seminar recording from the 2005 Fresno Women's Conference
Audio CD or Electronic Transcript
